last year a big group of girls in my class were all talking and this one girl was like “im bisexual” and all the girls like stared at her and then the girl goes “dont worry im only attracted to pretty girls” and i was like did she just burn every girl in here i think she did
In junior high I was un-invited from a swimming birthday party Regina George-style because I liked girls. I wish I’d used this line.
*txts back 20 days later & picks up the conversation where we left off as if no time has passed and without an excuse*
|—||someone you thought you’d seen the last of (via redpancla)|
do you ever read old conversations you had with someone and realize how much more they used to be interested you and it makes you feel like complete shit because everything is different now and you can tell you’ve just lost that shine that got their attention in the first place
i said theres no way im gonna draw that. absolutely no way. but then
By Lauren [tumblr]
if i ever get married i am gonna be too embarrassed to kiss my husband in front of everyone, especially my parents, so we will probably just high five or something
I just choked on my lunch
gonna put them on my christmas tree shaped christmas tree
do u ever lie on ur side and a small tear leaks out and ur just like whoa wtf body I know I’m sad but not that sad
- I left my favorite pair of underwear at your house. I know your mother hates me, can I come pick them up?
- It’s been almost a month and I still miss you like a fucking limb.
- I didn’t know my bones could ache until I met you.
- You know, a week before we broke up, do you remember? I had bought a book of poetry. You asked why I didn’t read something more interesting and I could feel my insides splinter.
- You said poetry was all lies dressed up to sound pretty. When I look at you these days, I want to ask if sadness sounds pretty to you too.
- It’s 3 a.m. and this alcohol tastes like you.
- I saw you staring at me today during Lit class. I smiled at you and you didn’t smile back. I almost cried.
- The girl who sits next to me smells like you.
- I miss you.
- I have never had so many bad nights.
- Sometimes I write poetry about you on the internet. Strangers who have never met either of us think you’re cruel – they tell me if they had the honor of loving me, we’d have sex three times a day and they’d scream my name when they came.
- They think it is beautiful, how I am broken. I don’t think they understand.
- You used to tell me I was beautiful. I tried saying it in the mirror the other day, but it sounded wrong without your mouth wrapped around it.
- Everything I say sounds wrong without your mouth wrapped around it.
- We were never in love, but, oh God, we could have been.
|—||"15 Texts I Almost Sent You" by d.a.s (via backshelfpoet)|
my friend left her window open in her bedroom and came back to find this
look at his self-satisfied little face, the cheeky shit
if there was a post to describe australia, this is it
you mean to tell me this isn’t even a pet bird?
that in australia, you have wild birds that just fly from house to house with the express purpose of fucking shit up?
fucking HELL australia, what is wrong with you?
wake up australia
That’s what birds do
They fly around and fuck shit up
Do you have some kind of mysterious nice birds in your weird foreign country
Do birds in America and England fly into your house and make the bed and tidy up the living room a little bit
It’s cold here, so they just bounce off the windows and lie there and twitch spasmodically while you look for the shovel.
Basically hurling themselves at windows is the worst thing birds do
yeah man a kookaburra literally flew into a classroom at my high school and just sat his smug ass down on top of the desk for a good 20 minutes
why has nobody mentioned the fact that in australia there are 3-4 months a year where everybody just accepts that they’re going to get attacked by magpies. It is literally called “swooping season” and these birds will fly down to peck your fucking face, and people get their eyes ripped out and shit, it’s fucking brutal.
My teacher had to go to hospital and have surgery because of swooping season. It was in the parking lot of school and all the kids would do a mad dash towards the car as the magpies tried to kill us.
no but when you’re 12 years old and riding your bike like mad on the way home from school with an icecream bucket on your head with like branches and shit sticking out if it to scare them off and none of this is considered strange
what the actual fuck australia